A Love Letter Tree

Yesterday, we visited a Korean history museum, passing many rows of kindergarteners out on a field trip. I sat there, studying each face….trying to commit to memory their chatter that was so foreign to my ears. Like little bells chiming, they laughed and played…and again worry crept in…could I absorb enough culture in one week to share with my son…would I be equipped to parent this little one with information about his homeland…would I be able to recall the blowing ginko leaves, colors on the temples, sounds of the subway? Tied on a tree in a lantern exhibit elsewhere were love letters and wishes…how I wanted to have a tree covered with all my prayers and wishes for this new little one…for my daughter and middle child as well…for friends praying…for my amazing husband…then I might have a beautiful visual reminder that might keep every memory available…every sight and smell and wish I hold for him… These thoughts were still running through my head sitting in the backseat of an inconspicuous grey van now navigating the narrow streets of a northern Seoul community. Apartments and gates and doors stand piled one on top of the other…like a makeshift jigsaw puzzle of cement, brick and iron…And behind one of those doors was our piece of the puzzle… The foster mother let us in an unassuming gate off an alley street, smiling and beckoning us up several flights of stairs…we removed our shoes and stepped into our future… Our tiny future wore a light blue Teddy bear outfit and sleepy eyes…and time seemed to stop right then and there. Right then...

Backwards into Tomorrow

As we headed out of Chicago, I contemplated our path and destination…headed backwards into tomorrow. We would cross the international date line and end up into the next day… How little we can see….always concentrating on the details and the insurmountable things in life…as though we are looking only inwards, downwards, or perhaps backwards is the best way to put it. Backwards is what I keep thinking, because if I would just turn around and look up, I have someone to guide me forward. In this journey, I need to keep my focus not on trying to control every detail, but forward, in Christ, on tomorrow…tomorrow, Tuesday, November 16…tomorrow when I complete my family…tomorrow when I will hold my new son for the first...

It Takes a Village

I am sitting here at just past midnight amazed and exhausted from all that has transpired over the past 48 hours. We received our call to travel to Korea at 8:42am Tuesday and are boarding a flight to Seoul, South Korea in a mere 6 hours. How long you wait for that call, planning, and begging for its arrival….but yet it grabs you by surprise. It takes your breath away the moment you hear the words “You can travel to pick up your son….” It takes the very air from your lungs….as though the world stops for just that moment while 2000 things run through your head….”he’s coming….we have to make reservations….what do I pack…oh no! I don’t even have a car seat!!” (Not that anyone who knows me is surprised by the last one!) But then the whirlwind begins…and for that I am thankful. Thankful not so much for the crazy 2 hour phone calls at midnight to Korean air or trying to find a hotel room during the G-20 summit or guessing what size the munchkin would wear…but thankful for the friends and family. Family and Friends that showed up to help clear the gallery…friends that fed me lunch and listened and answered questions…friends that ran endless errands and kept me on task…friends that stood in the gap when I lost it…friends that grabbed wet laundry piles when my dryer broke at the last hour…friends that thought of all those things I would need while I stood there, my mind blank…the room spinning with all that must be accomplished…friends that called…friends that prayed…friends that came…that really truly...